What if our culture’s addiction to self-help exploration, actually hid a secret that we’re not improving ourselves physically, mentally or spiritually?
According to mindset coach, thought leader and author, Maria Boznovska, the self-help industry, popularised in 1980s, enables people to remain in their comfort zones, seeking “perpetual change and quick fixes”, rather than truly doing what it takes to live the life they think they desire. It is an industry, she explains, essentially profiting from people’s emotional discomforts.
“The self-help movement is about getting what you want, making things happen in the world, attracting things to you that are outside of yourself, and achieving goals—that approach is based on a false premise,” Maria says. “The premise is that if you get what you want, it will make you happy. The truth is that if you do get what you want, it will make you feel good for only a short time, until you want something else.”
Maria’s Non-Self Help Keys
In a social media landscape that loves lists, which are said to lead to a happier everything, Maria says there need not be such goal setting or step-following. Rather, she says, it comes down to two very simple yet deeply powerful keys.
1. Forgiveness. It may sound simplistic, however, if we can forgive others and ourselves, much of what seemed difficult in our lives can dissipate. The more you get used to looking at the world as not coming “at you”, but coming “from you”, the more impossible it becomes to react in the way you used. It is then we hop off the merry go round of self-help.
2. Belief. It is our belief that determines if someone or some-thing has power over us, or not. Our beliefs put us at effect of it. Our job is to work on the cause by how we think about ourselves, our belief system, healing the past, letting go of limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviours and returning to ourselves. When we do that, the effect will take care of itself.
“Humanity is ready to surrender to a greater wisdom within itself and lay down the weapons against ourselves,” Maria says. “For many years I was at war with myself, like many. When we feel cut off from our source—love—we experience scarcity. But the scarcity is within—not without. When we feel this lack we try to fill this void externally. This is symbolic of the self-help vicious cycle.”